NOW IS THE TIME FOR ALL GOOD PEOPLE TO COME TO THE AID OF THEIR COUNTRY!
1. LET ME COUNT THE WAYS I LOVE YOU. L.A. -zero.
2. A "FREAK" THUNDER AND LIGHTNING STORM CAUSES A FLUKE FIRE IN THE CHEMISTRY BUILDING AT CAL STATE LOS ANGELES: CLASSES RESUME BECAUSE THE AIR TASTES LIKE SULPHURIC ACID, ANYWAY, ANY DAY...
3. MY SOCIAL SECURITY ATTORNEY WRITES ME A LIKEWISE ACIDIC EMAIL, HIGHLIGHTED WITH "GOOD LUCK, WAYNE, IN YOUR FIGHT WITH "THE ESTABLISHMENT." I don't see that as encouraging, do you?
4. I SWERVE TO AVOID A HUGE WHITE COMMERCIAL DELIVERY TRUCK IN HOLLYWOOD AS THE DRIVER BLOWS RIGHT THROUGH A PURELY-RED LIGHT. I HONK MY HORN AT HIM AND THIS TWO-TON COMMERCIAL TRUCK TAILGATES ME FOR FIVE BLOCKS AND TRIES TO RUN ME OFF THE ROAD. THE LAPD, ya know, the stars of TV'S NBC hit, 'SOUTHLAND,' said "they would keep an eye on it for me." SURE...CERTO.
5. KILL BILL III: NO SEQUEL. David Carradine hung himself in a hotel closet in Bangkok, Thailand. He was naked and wrapped the rope around his neck and genitalia. Now, Carradine has been a little Hollywood-Zen "quirky," but he had more than a bad day to go out in this way.
He could have performed this act in Los Angeles and got more press. I am truly sorry that he committed suicide but I know how Hollywood seems to "squeeze the life out of you, anyway."
6. I am tired of ("mi sono stufo di" in Italiano) rank-in-file politicians saying "these children are our futures" and then summarily cut the California education budget by millions, NO BILLIONS, of dollars. SHAMEFUL! VERGOGNA!...
7. My CSLA faculty advisor is an Angels fan. Bad omen, although I still praise the real Angels in heaven and on earth, but they rarely venture into THE ORANGE CURTAIN -Anaheim.
8. THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE: While I was waiting in my car for my Mom to return from her doctor's visit, this seething what-seemed-to-be-recent-USC-wanna be Grad honked her head with methamphedamine in her eyes and voice and barked "Hey, buddy, when are you gonna move you car." I then rolled the window back up and advised her to ask her "Daddy" for more lunch money. She parked her black Honda Civic (a perennial favourite among L.A. gang bangers) and came back to give me the finger. I politely responded in kind. She returned five minutes later and flipped me off again (I assume her job interview at the 99 cents store did not go well:). Relentless and dauntless, this 1:45 AM bar beauty, threw her pen (which she never used at USC) at my car. Knowing that the LAPD would never do anything for me, I instantly called the LAPD. SOUTHLAND showed up and did their best to characterize the old white dude as the perp and the young girl-with-two-lines-of-written-tattoos-in-the-middle of-her-upper-back as "the victim." UNREAL AND UNREEL...!
9. Our electricity was off for more than eighteen hours and my backup Internet aircard had a corrupted Single-Inline-Module (SIM) chip. So, I listened to the L.A. NEWS ON MY BATTERY-OPERATED RADIO IN THE DARK, IN KOREAN...
10. WARNING: THIS BITTER DIATRIBE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ENLIGHTENING YOU ON HOW DESPERATE LIFE IS HERE IN LOS ANGELES, ("BLADE RUNNER") BUT IS A POSSIBLE REASON TO STOP ON THE TARMAC AND HEAD BACK TO THE AIRPORT GATE IF YOUR TICKET SAYS "DESTINATION -LOS ANGELES" ON IT. THE WEATHER HERE IS GREAT AND YOU GET TO SHARE IT WITH 20 MILLION CRAZY, PSYCHOTIC AND DERANGED PEOPLE WHO ALSO HAPPEN TO BE OUT OF WORK AND DRIVING LIKE MANIACS,,,
Wayne Dennis Kurtz.